Everyone knows at least one couple who's downright painful to be around: If you're solely responsible for reviving your marriage, you might be beating a dead horse, said Susan Pease Gadoua, therapist and co-author of The New I Do: And nothing turns a loveless marriage into a house of hate faster than betrayal. In my experience, that resentment is usually based on either lack of sex, money habits or both. Sure, your sex life isn't going to be insanely hot all the time -- your desire for your spouse and his or hers for you ebbs and flows through the years. If you find yourself in this position, the first thing you have to do is ask yourself if you have the energy to revive the relationship, said Christina Pesoli, a family law attorney and the author of Break Free from the Divortex: Those fantasies you might be having are more worrisome than you realize.
Those fantasies you might be having are more worrisome than you realize. You dread date night. Everyone knows at least one couple who's downright painful to be around: Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. Clearly, you have contempt for one another and nothing's more detrimental to a relationship than that, said Pease Gaduoa. The same arguments are played out over and over again. You look for solutions to your marital problems outside your marriage. When you're in love, you look forward to dinner with your S. If you're slowly morphing into that couple, you just might be in a loveless marriage. You constantly fight in public. So if the thought of spending time with your spouse leaves you feeling cold -- or you actively try to duck out of doing things with him or her -- it's a huge red flag, said Pesoli. It's absolutely something worth addressing. But if the lack of sex starts to unnerve either of you, it's time to have a discussion, said Micki McWade, a psychotherapist and the author of Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: The first sign of trouble is the absence or infrequency of sex or intimacy," she said. There's nothing happening between the sheets. Sure, your sex life isn't going to be insanely hot all the time -- your desire for your spouse and his or hers for you ebbs and flows through the years. Planning a weekly date night? If he wanted to give his kids a better life, he had to end the marriage. It may seem like an insignificant sign of trouble, but it says more about your relationship than you realize, she said. It makes the little day-to-day nuisances seem less annoying. You both agreed that your relationship needs a tune-up and yet, you can't help but feel that your spouse has checked out. If your constant squabbles about the same old issues are become more and more embittered, it's a sign of a seriously unhappy marriage, said McWade. Making those appointments with a marriage counselor? If you're solely responsible for reviving your marriage, you might be beating a dead horse, said Susan Pease Gadoua, therapist and co-author of The New I Do:
Video about how to save a loveless marriage:
LOYAL BUT LOVELESS MARRIAGES - Special Guest Jerry Wise, Relationship Expert, Life Coach
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