She might even ask you in the midst of your breakup regardless of who initiates it , what'll happen to her, if she "needs" you and you've moved on and found another! That way if you need a drama fix, you have him on speed dial. Essentially, you'll be the grown-up who's always rowing this boat you're in, and she'll be the carefree child passenger. For the most part, your relationship moved along pretty smoothly, until you tried to express any personal concerns or needs. These people might blame their struggles on elements outside their control, like karmic retribution; "I must have done something really awful in a past life, to deserve this! Have you given any thought to why he might not have been around much of the time? Since 'helplessness' is the Waif's core emotional theme, options and choices that are healthier or more productive, are generally avoided. Abusive personalities typically follow similar patterns of behavior. This is a 'leftover' from your childhood with Mother, and it should be resolved, so you can make more gratifying and healthy choices.
Besides this, within the realm of personality disorders, apples very seldom fall far from trees--and I can assure you, this news will not be appreciated or utilized by them! An emotionally underdeveloped mother is not connected to her own feelings or needs. Use every tactic described above. Your Borderline needs to control your emotions. After this affair ends, she will not consider that she's even partly at fault--and given her inherent lack of boundaries, might contact your friends or family members to absolve herself of any blame or shame for this current outcome! This issue alone, can send him into perilous pain and longing for any woman who has pried the lid off his Pandora's Box of self-worth injuries. If she feels reprimanded or criticized, her natural anger will likely be submerged, but may get replaced by an imperious, judgmental, shaming tone, which she'll smack you with, from high atop her pedestal. So-and-So will have to be content with being relegated to the back seat. You may even be keeping your perceptions about what really went on in your dynamic under wraps, for fear of hurting her feelings--or risking that she will never speak to you again. This will make him feel like the relationship is stabilizing and that this is how it will be for the duration. Unfortunately, this means they'll act-out their feelings passive-aggressively , rather than talking to you about them. This unhealthy reflex begins when we're toddlers. If he is using your furniture, appliances, etc. For the most part, your relationship moved along pretty smoothly, until you tried to express any personal concerns or needs. Cut off his support system. As this relationship unfolds, you'll be noticing what seems to be her limited common sense, her inability to comprehend adult reason, her lack of impulse control and her non-reciprocation. If you have an iPhone, iPad or iPod this app will let you hear this material; http: Sure, that's what she's got you believing, so you'll continue your servitude to her until one of you literally expires! The Borderline simply reactivates it. You will simply be used to fill the ghastly hole in her soul, and continue to be her indentured servant. Please post it here. When you first meet your new victim, tell him what a great guy he is. The man-child of a Waif Mother is anxiously attached to females he dates, and consistently chooses partners he thinks will never leave him--or that he won't painfully miss when they do. Many of the Borderlines I've seen had dual or mixed diagnoses, which made assisting them, especially challenging. Your tacit, passive avoidance is never an effective strategy with a Borderline--whether she's a waif-type or not.
Video about bpd abuse tactics:
10 Gaslighting Signs in an Abusive Relationship
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